what a day…
I Bought My Own Camera Twice (sort of)
this is a story about capitalism and the kind of confidence only thieves and linkedIn influencers have.
i bought a nikon zf. legally. with money. it paid my racecar bills.
this wasn’t a hobby camera. This was a “if this breaks, i’m fucked” camera.
then it vanished. ~12th of october 2024, yes 2024.
so i did what any calm, emotionally regulated adult would do:
assumed it was gone forever,
texted my camera rep “yep, it got stolen” and immediately bought another one because honda civics dont run on vibes or exposure.
fast-forward.
i’m doom-scrolling ebay at 2:22am when i see it.
same camera. same model.
and hanging off it like a middle finger from the fucking universe is my camera strap.
not similar. not close. mine.
memorised forever because i’m stupid enough to buy a bright red $90 leica rope for my nikon.
i zoomed.
i stared.
i whispered “get fucked!”
it was my camera.
same serial number!
i called police that night. no hesitation.
the universe had handed me a receipt in 4k.
but curiosity (and rage) took over.
so i did what any sane individual would do.
get the fucking address and go to the seller’s place pretending to be a buyer.
this was not bravery, this was pure fucking spite with a driver’s licence.
i get there, with a mate.
he hands me the camera. i test it. i confirm it.
yep. same serial number.
then I say, calmly:
“today is just a bad day for you, mate.”
“why?” he responded
“because this shit is stolen, and i’m the fuckin’ owner.”
the vibes immediately went from marketplace small-talk to ferals at penrith plaza on a thursday night
he lunges at me to try take the camera back. my mate steps in.
he suddenly remembers that assault is still illegal, even when you’re losing your stolen property.
no punches. no violence. just the emotional damage of being told:
“i’m leaving with this camera and you get to choose how today goes.”
things de-escalated. i walked out with the camera.
he did not have a good day.
moral of the story?
if you steal my camera gear, maybe don’t:
sell it online
photograph it with my accessories
assume i won’t recognise my own shit
because, i will.
and i will find it.
on ebay. almost 1.5 years later.
at night.
powered entirely by malice, unresolved trauma and a saved notification setup for every used nikon zf on every platform imaginable in victoria. FUCK. YOU.
this isnt even the first time this has happened to me, i found my 77 cressida listed on ebay 9 months after it was stolen.
but that’s a story for another time.
📸💀
